The Importance of Being Family
by laurelangel
Summary: So, Konoha doesn't have child protective services. They do have a chronically tardy jounin whose aggravating pug-dog conscience bullies him into tolerating a new room-mate. Or two. AU.
1. Found

The Importance of Being Family

PG (occasional language)

So, Konoha doesn't have child protective services. They _do _have a chronically tardy jounin whose aggravating pug-dog conscience bullies him into tolerating a new room-mate. Or two. A/U.

Chapter 1: Found—In which Kakashi finds_ It_, and_ It_ thinks inside is a good place to be.

Beta: Thank you very much, Random Flyer, for the updates and revisions to this chapter!

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><p>Kakashi Hatake, the infamous Copy Ninja, Master of a Thousand Jutsu, lived in an unassuming apartment in the Village Hidden in Leaves. It was modest…well, really, it was quite small by shinobi standards. It included an open living room, an open bedroom, and an open kitchen—it was just one big room to be honest. It was nicely partitioned with screens in all the proper places, of course, but it was, when everything was said and done, nothing more than a frugal bachelor pad.<p>

He liked it that way. Usually.

Today he was trying to relax under a hot stream of water. The shower soothed his tired muscles and washed away the grit and grime and blood of his latest mission. If he turned the faucet to full strength and hummed lightly, he could pretend he was washing away the screams too.

As much as he liked post-mission showers, this one needed to be short. He had a report to not do. It took time to be as creatively vague as he was in not doing his reports. He would turn it in…late. And it would be returned to him when the overworked desk ninja got to it…in about a week… with a very dry "Ha-ha…this is not done, try again."

He could feel the sarcasm now.

With one towel at his waist and another roughly tugging through his hair he kicked the bathroom door open and strolled into the living room…

Where he stopped short.

There was a…thing… sitting on the small patch of tile which he considered to be his kitchen floor. In fairness, there were two things, but one was easily identifiable. The other was… a_ thing_.

"Is that alive?" He dubiously directed the question to the identifiable thing in the kitchen, the pug, Pakkun. The _thing_ probably was alive, his refrigerator was open and it seemed to be eating his food—the last time he checked none of his ninken had opposable thumbs—but he thought it was only polite to ask and make sure. It was tiny, grubby, covered in…mud? He could smell some other interesting scents along with the mud, but he wasn't particularly inclined to inch closer at this point…it could be rabid.

Pakkun's eyes flicked his way. "The pup was hungry."

Kakashi pulled the towel down from his hair, settling it around his shoulders and crossing his arms. "You brought_ It_ home."

The dog yawned and stretched out on the kitchen floor, raking his nails on the tiles before settling on his belly. "He was hungry. I found him downstairs, when I went to bury my bones. He's been living under the back porch of the building."

A beat of silence passed before the dog felt the need to continue. "He needs more meat on his bones…or we'll be burying him soon too."

Kakashi scowled at the pug. This sounded like a ploy for sympathy, something Kakashi didn't feel inclined to give at the moment. If he didn't put his foot down quickly, he had the nasty feeling that his cozy apartment might become a bit more cramped. "You can't keep It."

It was watching him warily with eerily familiar blue eyes. Kakashi vaguely recognized It, but wasn't going to think about the issue any more than necessary. Following that trail of thought would only end with Kakashi drinking himself into a stupor at a cold, gray stone. In the meantime, It kept a cautious eye on the older man and continued eating Its apples.

However, It did seem ready to bolt for the door at a moment's notice.

Pakkun just shrugged…well, if a dog could shrug Pakkun's gesture would be considered as such. "I'm not keeping him. He can get out through the dog door whenever he wants."

While the human adult tried to process that statement, the pug plowed forward. "He wants to stay." Pakkun inclined his head toward the door. "Its cold out there, its warm in here. I can't blame him."

Kakashi shook his head. "You're feeding It, It'll never leave on Its own now."

The response was a long, drawn-out canine sigh. "He's not an it, Kakashi. He's a puppy. A _special_ puppy...he's practically pack already if you'd get your head out of whatever hole you've stuck it in."

The jounin contemplated reducing his ninken's food rations, especially when he thought he heard a muttered "don't know what type of hole is big enough for your head anyway."

"Excuse me?" Kakashi cleared his throat and tried to look as intimidating as he could when standing boldly in his living room clad only in a towel, confronting ghosts of the past and annoying little canines who thought they knew so much.

Pakkun just watched him steadily. "Don't be dense, no one raised you that way."

Pakkun rolled over onto his back and wiggled against the tile before settling on his side. Apparently Kakashi wasn't the only one having a hard time getting comfortable after this latest mission.

"This puppy still needs raising. He's not blood, but he's as good as…besides, what do you care, you aren't actually home that often anyway." He closed his eyes and curled into a ball, feigning sleep. In Pakkun language, the conversation was closed.

Kakashi blinked. He was probably going to regret this, but he'd find a better way to get rid of It in a couple of days. Everyone would begin to see reason once they had full stomachs and a good night's sleep. This just wasn't going to be a long-term solution.

"Fine," He said, slipping behind the screen that separated the living room from the bedroom and searching for his clothes. "But, you are responsible for giving It a bath. _Now_. "

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><p>AN: For the insatiably curious, this is an A/U "what if," where Kakashi confronts his ghosts and obligation's to his sensei's legacy a bit earlier than in cannon. In this chapter, Naruto is roughly 4-5 years old, and Kakashi would be the corresponding cannon age. This is going to be a family-centered story, I don't plan on having any pairings but as the reader you are free to interpret the relationships I've written however you'd like.

Chapters will be short, be reviewing does motivate me to get off my but and get things done, so feel free to scold me in your reviews if its been a month or so since I've updated. Additionally, tell me what your favorite lines are, what makes you laugh, and what you wish I would have elaborated on in my writing. Tell me what questions you have that you want answered. Those types of reviews are going to be what makes me into a better writer. I'm not going to be able to do that without feedback, so please, bring on the feedback!

As of 10.2012 this story is now being beta-read by Random Flyer. Minor revisions are being done to the first five chapters, and from that point on everything will be posted post-beta reading.


	2. Fret

The Importance of Being Family

PG (occasional language)

So, Konoha doesn't have child protective services. They _do _have a chronically tardy jounin whose aggravating pug-dog conscience bullies him into tolerating a new room-mate. Or two. A/U.

Chapter 2: Fret –In which Iruka frets about being a new teacher and hopes that he can teach his kids enough so that when they die one day it won't be his fault…and he's not going to be responsible for _that one's_ death either, darn it.

Beta: Thanks to my wonderful beta reader, Random Flyer.

A/N: For those of you who haven't read the new A/N in Chapter 1, please go do so.

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><p>Iruka was having a very long day. Honestly, all his days seemed longer now that he'd unexpectedly been promoted to head sensei for the youngest academy class. He'd been quite happy simply being assistant sensei—and really, Jiro-senpai should have known better. They'd all been adequately forewarned that the Kyubbi brat would be starting the academy this year. And everyone <em>knew<em> that Hatake-san was playing bodyguard for the thing.

Iruka probably hadn't paid as much attention to the situation as he should…looking back, Iruka had the impression that Jiro-sempai may have been bullying the kid. At the time, Iruka really just hadn't wanted to deal with it and he'd been more than happy to let the senior sensei handle the kid on his own. That is, he'd been happy with it until Hatake-san showed up one day out of nowhere (Iruka really itched to know how he did that) and sweetly-as-you pleased requested an "audience" with Jiro-sempai…who then didn't return to the classroom for the rest of the day…or the next day…or the one after that.

Iruka heard rumors that Jiro-sensei had been shipped out on some unfavorable long term mission…but those were just rumors. The only thing that Iruka knew for certain was that the academy principal, a seasoned kunoichi with a weathered face and a biting tongue known as Miyagi-sama, stopped in one morning to tell Iruka that he was officially in charge of the class and to be especially respectful to the blond brat.

Iruka, understandably, was a bit ruffled by the whole situation, but he'd worked hard to make sure that the Kyuubi kid was treated exactly the same as the other children in the classroom. He'd asked for an assistant of course, but administration was having trouble finding takers for the job…which was a bit unusual. Generally, there was no shortage of ninja on the injured list eager to take a low-stress assistant-sensei position at the academy for a few months. It wasn't a job people clamored for—but it helped to pay bills until wounds healed and ninja were cleared for more strenuous duties.

Apparently the rumors about Jiro-sempai had spread quickly. Iruka scoffed at the idea that any of them were true…he highly doubted Hokage-sama would let Hatake-san get away with half the tales that had reached his ears. No matter how much the Hokage doted on the Kyuubi brat like a favorite grand-child, turning a blind eye to Hatake-san murdering academy teachers was a bit farfetched. Unfortunately, the rest of Konoha didn't seem to share Iruka's faith in the Hokage's control of the infamously eccentric copy-nin.

This all meant twice as much work for the already overwhelmed Iruka. It was his first year doing anything at the academy—he had just as much to learn as the students. He also had an extremely overactive conscience that wasn't helping him adapt to his new duties. A tiny voice in the back of his head kept whispering that if he messed up this lesson or skipped that topic it might cause one of these kids to die somewhere down the road.

The responsibility, his inexperience, and the potentially deadly future consequences of his screw-ups were combining to create a suffocating atmosphere for his daily life. However, he'd been finding his way in the dark for a couple of months now and he thought that he was finally adjusting to the burden. He was beginning to feel that he might be getting the hang of this after all. Maybe no one was going to die because of this mess. Well, obviously some of his students would die…they wanted to be ninja after all. But just maybe they wouldn't die because their stupid inept academy sensei failed to teach them how to tell the difference between a senbon and a toothpick.

Iruka caught himself nibbling on his red grading pen and scowled, bringing his arm down and tapping the pen impatiently on the desk. He was currently marking homework that the kids had turned in earlier that day. Most of the class grasped the concepts pretty easily. However, it looked like Kiba-kun might need a remedial assignment and Shikamaru-kun might be joining him. Iruka knew that the Nara child understood the concepts; he was just too lazy to do his homework and half the time the papers he turned in were covered in doodles of clouds. Iruka was still trying to find the proper motivation to get Shikamaru to pay attention, but he hadn't hit on any successful ideas yet.

The other problem was that he was missing one paper—the Kyuubi br—err, Naruto's. Iruka had been expecting that child to be one of worst behaved in his classroom. But, surprisingly, the kid seemed to behave pretty well. He was generally quiet and kept to himself. He wasn't an extremely social child, but he got along well enough with most of the boys in the classroom and the timid Hinata-chan. The only one he didn't seem to play well with was the Uchiha boy. Of course, Sasuke-kun was a bit spoiled and snobby, none of the other boys "played well" with him either. The girls, however, seemed to have developed an early case of hero-worship and trailed after Sasuke-kun like little puppies. It was harmless enough at the moment, but he'd have to watch it in a couple of years.

-And there he'd done it again! He'd been meaning to think about Naruto and the kid just slipped from his mind! Naruto was like that…despite insistently wearing the loudest color on the planet and having the potential power to destroy the entire academy in a tantrum, he tended to fade from your attention rather quickly. Iruka would be thinking of scolding him one minute and the next he'd be distracted by another child and wouldn't realize that he'd forgotten about the blond brat until later that evening. Naruto was one of the highest performers in physical activities, but his academic grades were only average. Despite this, it was a bit odd for him not to turn in his homework. Iruka wasn't exactly looking forward to one-on-one time with him, but if it were another child he would pull him aside so—

"Naruto, stay after class." Iruka looked out at the class full of students, all busy scribbling away on their quizzes. Naruto's head subtly shrinking into his shoulders was the only sign that the boy had heard him. Iruka spared Ino a glare as she snickered…she really shouldn't sit on the front row if she wanted to misbehave. Ino threw her hair haughtily over her shoulder and went back to work.

About thirty minutes later the silence erupted into chaos and laughter as the children filed out the door, pushing each other in their eagerness to get out of the classroom for the day. Iruka yelled at a couple to stop running, broke up a squabble over who-stole-who's ruler, and barely stopped Chougi from eating a flower-wreath Sakura had made during recess. He waited patiently as Hinata-chan stammered out her traditional "thank you for teaching us this week, sensei" before she bowed and ran from the classroom, and finally he hit Shikamaru on the head to wake him up on his way back to his own desk at the front of the classroom. Iruka had finished his grading by the end of the school day for once and was looking forward to a nice, relaxing evening at home.

A shy cough reminded Iruka that one student remained in the room. Right—Iruka bit back a groan and looked over the side of his desk, where Naruto was patiently waiting, hidden from view. Iruka looked forward to the day when his students would be too tall to be hidden by the furniture. It was always a bit unnerving to think that they were starting to teach kids how to be assassins before they were tall enough to reach a chalkboard.

Naruto watched him from under a shaggy, dirty blond mop of hair. It was the first time Iruka had been alone with child without other children distracting him, and Iruka took a moment to observe the boy before him. The kid could use a hair-cut, and probably a bath too, but so could most of the other boys in his classroom by the end of the day. It was incredible how quickly little boys became filthy.

Naruto twitched nervously for a moment under his sensei's gaze and Iruka finally asked him why he hadn't turned in yesterday's assignment.

Naruto kicked at the floor with his sandals. "I'm out of pencils, I don't got no more."

Iruka blinked. "What do you mean you are out of pencils?"

Naruto still refused to look up at him and just shrugged his shoulders. "I don't got no more. Can't do papers if I can't write nothin'."

Iruka narrowed his eyes. "Then how did you complete your quiz today?"

"Borrowed one from Shika-kun. He wasn't gonna use it anyways…gave it back though." The sheepish looking child kicked at the ground.

His explanation caused Iruka to pause and make a mental note to look for Shikamaru's quiz later that night. If it was missing…maybe talking to the boy's mother would instill some motivation in the lazy brat. Still, while this pencil story was a new excuse, it was not one of the better ones he'd heard so far in his limited teaching experience.

"Naruto, pencils aren't that hard to get a hold of—"

To Iruka's surprise, Naruto's head whipped up and Iruka found himself on the end of a baleful stare.

"'Kashi-san says not to steal things, stealin's bad, but I don't got no more pencils Sensei!" Naruto punctuated his declaration by crossing his arms and digging his fingers into his elbows.

Iruka was beginning to feel like he was fighting a losing battle, but he wasn't quite ready to give up. He leaned back in his chair with a sigh. "Have you asked Hatake-san for more pencils?"

"He's not here."

"What do you mean—" Iruka caught himself, he was beginning to sound snappy and if this were any other child Iruka wouldn't be snapping at them, no matter how long the day had been. Iruka cleared his throat and repeated the question a bit more calmly. "What do you mean he's not there?"

Naruto blinked at him warily and shifted a bit, trying to shrug again only he was clutching his own arms so tightly he was restricting the movement of his shoulders. "He's not here," Naruto repeated in a very quiet voice.

Iruka was bewildered at his student's behavior for a moment, until he realized that maybe Naruto was expecting Iruka to lash out just because Hatake-san wasn't present to pick him up from school that day. "I'm not mad at you Naruto, I'm just trying to understand things," Iruka explained in what he hoped was a reasonable voice. "Why don't I just go talk to him."

Naruto looked at him, a bit bewildered. "…But, he's not here Sensei!"

Iruka shook his head as he gathered up his papers. "I know he's not here, that's why I'm going to go home with you and wait for him there." Naruto opened his mouth to protest, but Iruka cut him off. "I don't want to hear any buts about it." He picked up his bag and walked away, pausing at the door when he didn't hear the expected pitter-patter of feet behind him. Naruto was standing hesitantly by the desk. "Come on then," Iruka said, making a beckoning motion with his free hand.

Naruto reluctantly followed him out of the door, out of the academy and out into the village, leading the way to Hatake's home (presumably, at least, that's where Iruka hoped Naruto was taking them). It was a bit of an awkward walk. Iruka was sensitive to the frigid stares of villagers who were normally very friendly when he walked to school by himself in the mornings. He could tell from Naruto's hunched posture that the kid knew the rude behavior was for him. Iruka began to feel a bit ridiculous about the whole thing. Naruto couldn't even spell Hokage properly yet (he kept writing Hoe-kagay on his papers) and most of the people here were looking at him as if he were responsible for murdering their best friend-oops, maybe Iruka shouldn't go that far.

He straightened his back a bit and continued to follow Naruto, who'd wandered a few steps ahead during Iruka's internal musings. Iruka bit his lip…despite everything; Naruto was a pretty decent kid most of the time. He didn't really cause any more issues than the other children caused…and Iruka had been watching him like a hawk the past few months since he'd been given sole charge of the newest class. He had to admit that he'd not seen anything malicious or Kyuubi-like in the child's behavior.

Iruka was startled from his thoughts when they stopped in front of a rather average looking housing complex. It was three stories high, he guessed five units per floor from the front, although it looked like a building that might have units in the back. The design was a bit old, but the building seemed to have been kept up nicely. Iruka looked down at his student, only to find Naruto gazing up at him speculatively, chewing on his lip.

Iruka raised an eyebrow, "Well?," he prompted.

Naruto sighed and muttered something about "'round back" before trudging forward. Iruka followed, stuffing his free hand into his pocket. He followed Naruto as he slipped to the side of the building and around a corner. In the back of the building was a porch like structure with a bit of a yard. There were fewer units in the back, only three per floor…Iruka assumed they must be larger. The yard was fenced in, with an empty alley behind it. But Naruto didn't stop to consider his surroundings as he marched up the porch and a stairway that led to the second floor. Naruto stopped in front of an unassuming green door with chipped paint and Iruka paused as his student ducked down and crawled through the dog flap at the bottom of the door.

Iruka blinked in surprise, and after a couple of seconds bit his cheek. "Naruto," He called out, knocking on the door. The door stayed closed, mocking him. "Naruto, if you don't open this door right no—" It swung open, and Iruka's fist hit empty air. He looked down at his student, who rolled his eyes.

"I had to undo the trap." Naruto stated matter-of-factly. "But you can come in now."

"Oh, right." Iruka worked his mouth for a moment, and then gave voice to his curiosity as he stepped through the door. "Do you always come through the dog door? Don't you have a key? Are there dogs here now?"

Naruto ignored his academy sensei, dropped his book bag on the floor, and disappeared through a door off the living room. Iruka hesitantly took the only chair at a tiny kitchen table. He was surprised to see the apartment itself was much smaller than he originally thought. It seemed to be one room. He'd at first thought Naruto had gone to his own bedroom, but now he heard a toilet flush and Naruto emerged mumbling an apology about really needing to use the bathroom before coming into the kitchen and sitting on the floor in front of the dog door.

Naruto watched him, but didn't seem very inclined to start the conversation.

Iruka cleared his throat. "So, Naruto…where's your bedroom?"

Naruto pointed to the living room, which was partitioned by a screen. Iruka assumed that there must be a bed behind it.

"But, where is Hatake-san's room then?"

Naruto scrunched his nose. "He gets the bed when he's home, but he's not here much, so its mine most of the time."

Naruto's odd response barely registered in Iruka's head as he started making other observations about the apartment…none of which added to the conclusion that two beings shared this home. Iruka rubbed his head, he didn't want to get involved in this, he should stop thinking while he was ahead. Fortunately, he was saved by a growling stomach. "Naruto, do you have anything to eat while we wait for Hatake-san?"

Naruto blinked and hesitantly responded,"…ramen?"

Iruka's lips twitched a bit. "I was thinking of something healthier, maybe fruit? You've had instant ramen for lunch every day this week, I've seen you eat it! You can't have that all the time you know."

Iruka's light scolding was met by a ducked head. "…But I like ramen?"

Iruka laughed and stood up from his chair. "Why don't you let me fix the snack?" He couldn't help but smile at his student's sheepish expression, especially when he opened the pantry only to find it contained about twenty boxes of instant ramen and nothing else. "I can see you weren't understating your affections," Iruka said dryly as he moved on the refrigerator…which was completely empty of food, as were the cupboards over the sink, and the ones under the sink…Iruka whirled on his student. "Naruto, there's no food in this house!"

The six-year old puffed up indignantly before yelling, "There is too! I gots plenty of ramen! You shouldn't be such a picky eater."

Iruka narrowed his eyes. "Naruto, where is Hatake-san?"

"He's not here," was Naruto's sulky reply.

"Yes, we've been over that," Iruka reminded himself to remain calm, and rubbed at the bridge of the nose before taking a deep, soothing breath. "Where is he?"

"Out."

"Out where?"

"I dunno."

"Ok, when will he back?"

"I dunno."

Screw calm. "Naruto!"

"I dunno!" The child wailed and covered the top of his head (which made Iruka feel horrible because it wasn't like he would ever be mad enough to hit the kid). "He's out on a mission and he's not here. He's not here lots, it happens all the time."

Iruka stepped back and sat in the chair again, trying to make himself seem less threatening and more like the reasonable teacher that Naruto had known for the past few months. Naruto's answers weren't that odd, after all, Hatake-san was ANBU, plenty of other children lived in households where one or both parents were on active duty. It wasn't that unusual a lifestyle. Surely, Hatake-san had been gone only a day or two and something had happened with whoever was assigned to watch Naruto in the meantime.

"How long has he been on his mission, Naruto?"

Naruto peeked out from where he was half hidden—half clinging to the pantry door, bravely protecting his ramen horde from his sensei's temper tantrum. "Since the day Sasuke and I got into the fight about the kunai at lunchtime…" the shy voice trailed off.

Iruka felt a tick developing in his eye. "Naruto, that was two weeks ago."

Naruto crept behind the door a bit more. "Yeah…"

Iruka groaned and let his head fall into the table. He sat there, his thoughts whirring, wondering what to do about the situation. Naruto was only six; he was too young to be alone. But, recalling the attitude of the villagers earlier, maybe staying in Hatake's home was still the safest solution. He was drawn from his thoughts by a small tug on his pants. He moved his head a bit till he could see the kid patting at his knees. "Are you ok, Sensei?"

Iruka took a deep breath and sat up. "I'm fine kid." His stomach growled. Well, at least that was one problem he could fix in the immediate future. Iruka grinned and ruffled Naruto's hair, ignoring the child's flinch beneath his hand. "I just need some dinner."

"Ramen?" Naruto looked up at him hopefully.

"No." Iruka said firmly. "You and I are going out to a _nice_ dinner, which does not include ramen," (he ignored Naruto's scowl) "and then we are going to go grocery shopping, find you some pencils, and finish that homework you missed."

"But sensei—"

"No buts."

"Aaawwwww…"

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><p>AN- Before I get spammed by angry reviewers—No, Kakashi is not abusing Naruto. Naruto just reacts that way because of issues with strange adults. The villagers treat him horribly, its not easy for him to open up to new adults and trust them, but we all know Iruka can't resist the urge to parent anyone that will let him, and he'll parent most of those who protest too.


	3. Foist

The Importance of Being Family

PG (occasional language)

So, Konoha doesn't have child protective services. They _do _have a chronically tardy jounin whose aggravating pug-dog conscience bullies him into tolerating a new room-mate. Or two. A/U.

Chapter 3: Foist- In which Iruka discovers that Kakashi is an idiot…and then reconsiders this epiphany as he realizes just how successfully Kakashi foisted his own responsibilities off onto Iruka.

Beta: A big thank you to Random Flyer for doing the beta work for this chapter.

A/N: Time-wise, this chapter occurs a few weeks after the previous chapter.

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><p>"You! Hey you! Hatake-san!"<p>

Kakashi winced and dropped the turnips that he had been about to add to his shopping basket. "I got lost on the road of…Do I know you?" He blinked as he turned to find an average looking chūnin invading his personal bubble.

The chūnin looked vaguely familiar—he had a broad scar across his nose that tickled at the edge of Kakashi's memory, but he couldn't quite place the man. The weary jounin mentally shrugged off the inconvenience—if he didn't remember the younger man, then he obviously wasn't that important.

The invading ninja was rubbing at the back of his head and grinning up at him bashfully. "Um, well-err, I teach your kid—"

"My kid? I have dogs, but I don't have children." Kakashi understood the confusion, dogs and small children shared many similarities after all. He'd made the same mistake himself once or twice on prior occasions. He returned his attention back to the selection of vegetables and thoughtfully regarded a head of lettuce. "I think you have me confused—"

"Hatake-san, I'm talking about Naruto."

Oh _that_.

Kakashi suppressed an internal groan and was glad that the mask he wore hid the scowl he was currently giving the carrots. Like the ninja of Konoha needed any more ammunition to question his sanity. That's all he needed—rumors spreading in ANBU of Kakashi Hatake scowling at the vegetables in the market—frightening local store owners by emanating killing intent at the asparagus. He "hmm-d" and moved through the rows of produce. Really, the things he went through to make sure that brat didn't permanently stunt his growth by inhaling an almost endless diet of salt and wheat flour. He honestly didn't know how the kid managed to function on a daily basis when Kakashi wasn't there to do the shopping.

"Hey, Hey wait!"

The annoyed edge to the strange chūnin's voice didn't faze Kakashi in the slightest, but his solid stance in front of the eggplants was slightly more irritating. Kakashi felt an eyebrow twitch, he wanted some of those.

"Yes?"

The chūnin bravely swallowed and wisely took a step away from the eggplants. Stammering a little as Kakashi bent forward to examine his prey, he finally blurted out what Kakashi was pretty sure should have been a statement, in the form of question.

"I need to talk to you about Naruto-kun?"

On second thought, maybe Kakashi should start acting a bit crazier in public. After all, people stayed away from the crazy ones. It would be much more comforting if his eccentric reputation had beat the offender into submission—and retreat—a couple feet back at the broccoli bar. His future preference for isolation might be better served if he started playing target practice on the potatoes at opportune moments.

"Why? What has he done?"

The brisk answer seemed to catch the other off guard. The chūnin's brown eyes watched Kakashi curiously as the older man silently debated which vegetable had the better color.

"Well, he hasn't really done anything, its just…you know…"

The single raised eyebrow in response to the younger ninja's trailing voice caused the latter to wilt a bit…but he gathered his courage and puffed back up in a huff of self-righteous indignation.

"You just—You can't leave a six year old unattended for weeks!" The bellow was accompanied by an accusatory finger and was said in what Kakashi was sure was the other's finest 'Because I'm the sensei!' voice.

Kakashi crinkled his one visible eye, giving off the impression of a smile. "I think you're operating under a misconception, Sensei." He let his gaze float in an absent-minded fashion to some stalls further down the lane and hummed distractedly as he headed lazily in that direction.

His new companion trailed after him like a sulky puppy, partly confused at the deflection and partly disgruntled that he wasn't being taken seriously.

"Huh?"

In a rare moment of generosity, Kakashi decided to grace the simple declaration of bewilderment with a decent answer. "He's not my kid. Not my problem."

Hmm—apparently that answer wasn't as clear as he'd thought it had been. The chūnin was back to stuttering with a vengeance, this time a pair of flailing arms joined their master in his fussing.

"But, he lives in your house! You feed him! You buy him clothes! You can't just say that you don't have anything to do with him—"

Kakashi shrugged and tossed some apples and other fruits into his basket before heading to the owner of the stall to pay for his items.

"Look, he's really not my problem."

He idly waved a hand at the flustered man next to him and handed some money to the heavyset farmer manning the stall, who was all too happy to see the copy-ninja on his way to other errands.

Obviously a short explanation wasn't going to cut it, so Kakashi graciously elaborated to the irritated man _still _trailing at his elbow. He entered the butcher's shop and nodded in recognition of a friendly wave given to him by a rather harried, bulky woman ordering people around behind the counter.

"My dog brought him home one day. Fed him. Can't get them to leave after that you know?"

Kakashi closed his eyes as he handed over the remainder of his latest paycheck to a timid, petite salesgirl. Keeping enough meat to feed a pack of nin-dogs, a child with ten stomachs, and a young adult with Kakashi's metabolism required more money than most realized.

"But, you enrolled him in the academy."

Kakashi gratefully took the large brown-paper packaged bundle and tucked it under his free arm.

"Of course I did, it got him out of my house."

He watched as the chūnin continued to splutter. He cocked his head in amusement and spared some of his attention to the salesgirl calling at them to wait by the door.

"You scared off his last teacher!" The boy-who-was-still-nameless rubbed at the scar bridging his nose in aggravation.

Kakashi half-heartedly listened to the comment as the salesgirl from earlier escaped from behind the counter and blushed as she pushed a package of what he presumed to be bones "for his boys" into his basket, and then retreated with a charming giggle.

Kakashi smiled with his eyes (a skill that was harder than it sounds to master) as he and the academy teacher ducked out of the crowded shop and once again joined the busy throng of people in the market streets.

They walked in silence for a minute—Kakashi had almost forgotten he had company until he glanced over to notice an odd sulky look on his companion's features.

"It was _you_ who scared away Jiro-sempai, wasn't it?"

There was an odd bite to the chūnin's voice that Kakashi didn't appreciate.

"Hmm, oh that? Well, he was coming home and performing his kata all wrong. He wasn't being taught right. Hold this for a moment."

The younger ninja blinked, startled. "Oh, okay." He fumbled at the package of meat foisted into his hands and took a nervous step to the side as Kakashi bit his thumb and began forming hand seals.

A poof of smoke, a couple of coughs from the unsuspecting party, and a large shaggy dog sat in a corner, waffling happily and shaking up the dust with a fast-waving tail.

"You." Kakashi said with a calculated snap of his wrist. "Take that home. Don't eat it. Or else."

Kakashi was rewarded with a bit of eeping from the chūnin as the large creature snapped the package from his hands with powerful jaws and a muffled bark before trotting away toward the residential district.

"I mean it Atsushi, eat it and I'll douse your next meal in wasabi." Kakashi called out after the dog, who only gave a sassy wag of the tail in response.

"That teacher was going to get kids killed-can't have inept teaching at the academy." Kakashi hefted his basket to a more comfortable position and stuck his free hand in his pocket as he strolled toward the nearest store.

"Ohh, err, of course."

Kakashi paused, fingertips resting on the door handle. He regarded his companion of the past thirty minutes with a quirky wink. "So, you see. Not _my_ kid."

And with that he disappeared into the store. Leaving a stammering Iruka Umino (not that Kakashi remembered the name, despite having led a team including the young boy not _that_ long ago) flustered, dusty, and slightly bewildered at the bizarre conversation in the middle of the market street.

This lasted for approximately a minute and twenty eight seconds before the chūnin got his act together, reminded himself that he'd faced worse opponents in his short life, and (only briefly consoling himself that surely Hatake-san wouldn't kill him in the bounds of the village proper) set his shoulders and stormed the store.

Meanwhile, Kakashi was browsing the shop's inventory quite happily, keeping an eye out for what he hoped would be his favorite find of the day, when he was cornered by what could only be an enraged mutated pineapple—oh wait, no, it was just the chūnin from earlier.

"Hatake-san, stop right there! You are an adult! There is a six-year old child dependent upon you for guidance and—goodness knows I've tried-but I can't get him to leave your home. You may not consider him your kid, but he considers himself _your_ kid, so man up and take responsibility. He's not just trash you can shake off when it suits you."

Well, that was startlingly informative. And it hit a couple of bad buttons to boot.

Kakashi pouted. "I don't like you."

The enraged pineapple deflated. "What are you, three?"

Kakashi just sulked and moodily eyed a spot above the chūnin's head.

An awkward silence settled over the pair which was finally broken by a flat-toned grunt of disbelief.

"Oh. My. Word. You have no idea how to care for children do you."

Now that was a statement which Kakashi was pretty sure was meant to be a question.

"…I had a goldfish once."

"That doesn't count!"

Kakashi rolled his eyes at the snappish response. "Look, Sensei, I work for a living. I let the kid stay at my place, I give him money for food, I make sure he's learning something in school, I dunk him in a bath every once in a while, I make sure he's not assassinated…do you see anyone else volunteering to do that? Point me to them, I'll gladly let them take care of things."

The jounin pushed past the younger boy and moved further into the store.

"Wait…"

Kakashi really was getting annoyed now…how thick was this kid that he couldn't get a hint to buzz off? He was fairly sure that he could have shaken Maito Gai off twenty minutes ago. He wouldn't have waited, except that the kid was now standing in front of the exact item Kakashi came here to buy—much like how they started this unnecessary conversation.

"What is it going to take to make you go away?" Kakashi asked, narrowing his visible eye.

The younger man shifted awkwardly. "Its just…you're right. I'm sorry. I hadn't been aware of the extent of ill feelings in the village toward Naruto-kun till just a few days ago, and I'm still a bit shocked at how strongly people can direct hate toward a six year old."

The teacher took a deep breath and fisted his hands at his sides. "It's just…you're doing a good job with Naruto, but he needs more attention you know? You can't just keep leaving him for weeks on end…I mean, all he's been eating is ramen!"

Kakashi regarded him wearily, "…The villagers don't sell him most groceries you know…"

The scarred teacher ducked his head in an odd sort of acknowledgment "…I know, or, well, I found that out recently…" The sentence trailed off into a murmur with a wince of remembrance.

Kakashi just watched…he wasn't sure where this conversation was going.

A deep inhale of air and the chūnin straightened to look solemnly at Kakashi. "I guess… I guess I'm just volunteering to help you with things—with Naruto." A fond smile graced the younger man's face. "Naruto adores you, you know, I really have tried to get him to come with me and he won't—won't leave your place. He thinks of it as home—as you of family, even if you don't."

Kakashi sighed. Well, this was getting progressively more awkward by the second. He eyed the door longingly, but the chūnin kept talking.

"But, he's six you know, and he can't be on his own that long, so, I'd like to help…when you're gone….that is, if you'll let me?"

The nervous lip-biting was getting on his nerves, but at least Kakashi now knew how to end the conversation.

"Fine."

The chūnin started with excitement, "Really? I mean you don't mind—"

"No," Kakashi interrupted, putting up a hand to keep the chūnin from acting on whatever impulse had his muscles bunching forward in preparation for what suspiciously looked like a handshake—or even worse, a hug. Kakashi moved his basket to put some protective distance between them. "I'm perfectly fine letting you, whoever-you-are, handle the tantrums that come with trying to get that kid to eat vegetables. What I do mind is that you're still standing in front of the display for the newest Icha-Icha."

Eyes widened and hasty apologies tumbled from the once-more nervous chūnin.

"Oh, er sorry…I'm Iruka Umino by the way, how rude of me to forget to introduce myself, but we have met—"

Kakashi tuned out the mindless babble as he happily reached for his favorite obsession. He picked up the brightly colored book and contentedly thumbed through its pages before heading to the counter.

"Umm…do you think you might give me a key, you really shouldn't keep making Naruto crawl through the dog…are you buying porn!?"


	4. Fizzle

The Importance of Being Family

PG (occasional language)

So, Konoha doesn't have child protective services. They _do _have a chronically tardy jounin whose aggravating pug-dog conscience bullies him into tolerating a new room-mate. Or two.

Beta: Thank you Random Flyer for editing this lovely story.

Chapter 4: Fizzle- In which Kakashi and Iruka form a temporary truce. Of sorts.

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><p>Kakashi was rudely shaken from a dark, content oblivion by the familiar <em>swoosh<em> that accompanies thick fabrics abruptly yanked from covered windows. The intense, mid-day light bled through his tightly closed eyes and he scrunched his face in displeasure, pulling his blanket over his head with a low, muffled groan.

"Rise and shine!"

The chipper voice was adult, male and unfamiliar. The words, although innocent and friendly in meaning were delivered with a passive-aggressive tone that Kakashi just wasn't equipped to deal with this early in the morning—er afternoon…whatever. Conveniently shelving the fact that he couldn't quite match a name and face to the intruding voice, Kakashi instead focused on the solid throbbing that was making itself known in his skull.

The painful sensation was interrupted by gentle pats to his cheek from small hands, further softened by the thin blanket Kakashi was using as a shield from his nemesis, the sun.

"Hey, hey—Iruka Sensei? Are you sure he's not dead?"

"He's not dead, he's just hung-over."

The flatly delivered words were followed by footsteps across the floor and Kakashi grasped weakly at his blanket as it was yanked roughly away from his hands. He opened his good eye, glaring blurrily in recognition at the chūnin he'd met in the market a few weeks ago. The steady brown eyes gazing at him were paired with an equally steady scowl and a stubbornly locked jaw. Kakashi growled something unintelligible…closest to "ngugughhh" and lazily threw up an arm over his face, reassured to feel the cloth of his mask under his fingers.

"I think its time for breakfast, why don't you help me make it Naruto-kun?"

Kakashi tried to roll to the right, realized he was on his couch, and rolled to the left, burying his face in the back of the couch as the unwelcome visitor invaded his kitchen. Kakashi's relief at the ninja's withdrawal was temporary—the loud clanging of pots and pans and slamming cabinet doors let it be known quite clearly that the war was just beginning—

"Naruto-kun, why don't you turn your cartoons on?"

-and Kakashi was losing, badly.

Bang, bang, bang went the pots in the kitchen…and was that the shower starting?

Kakashi grudgingly opened his good eye when he felt the chūnin pause at the foot of the sofa.

"You were my mother in a past life weren't you?"

The man with the scarred nose huffed and put a hand on his hip. "I started the shower, you reek." He gestured toward the bathroom with a wooden stirring spoon, all the righteous indignation of a highly affronted housewife etched upon his features. Kakashi thought the situation might be funnier if the subject of the chūnin's ire wasn't quickly making itself known to Kakashi. A sharp whistle from a tea kettle had him wincing and cowering further into the couch cushions.

Naruto's sensei caught him in a glare which regularly cowed school-age children and left Kakashi feeling not that much older. "It'll be quieter in the bathroom, Hatake-san."

Right. Ah well, live to fight another day…never let it be said that Kakashi Hatake couldn't accept defeat at the hands of a more cunning soldier. Kakashi rose slowly from his resting place and teetered unsteadily across the floor, past the blond brat staring aptly at the blaring—and often unused—television and the ninja—who was now, dare he say it—tapping a foot on the floor impatiently.

When Kakashi emerged from the bathroom roughly an hour later, the television was still on, but Naruto had abandoned it in favor of some crayons and a textbook which probably wasn't meant to have color illustrations. Kakashi ignored the budding artist in favor of his house guest, who was sitting at the kitchen table sipping tea and reading a newspaper. Dirty breakfast dishes sat cozily in the kitchen sink and a full plate of toast and bacon gave a warm welcome from the kitchen table. He took the second, empty kitchen chair (which didn't match its partner, having randomly popped into existence last week when Kakashi returned from an afternoon spar with Maito Gai) and cautiously prodded a piece of bacon.

His view of the chūnin was obstructed by the newspaper, the only movement the fluttering of the pages being turned every few minutes. The silence should have been comfortable, but wasn't, and Kakashi found himself slightly put off at being intentionally ignored in his own home. He cleared his throat.

"Ah…chūnin-san, not that I don't care for the breakfast…but, why are you here?"

The newspaper was shuffled into one hand as the man across from him reached down to take a sip of tea. And then it was fully opened again and Kakashi found himself unintentionally reading about the daimyo's most recent affair. He took a moment to cast the genjutsu which let him eat without removing his mask—he was _not_ perturbed by his companion's continued non-responsiveness—and nibbled thoughtfully on his bacon.

He coughed, politely, "Chu—"

"I'm sorry did you say something," the sharp snap had Kakashi's words dying in his throat as the chūnin leveled narrowed eyes at him from over his paper, "I'm trying to let the atmosphere of condemning silence soak in a bit longer."

Kakashi _did not_ shrink back into his chair as the paper was raised once more. He idly munched on some toast and considered the article about the daimyo's infidelity in a manner that would not be best described as sulking.

At the end of a half hour, Kakashi gave on decent conversation and entertained himself by flicking crumbs toward the living room, awarding himself points in an amount which increased in correlation to how close the flicked crumb came to resting in a blond mop of hair.

"Naruto was worried."

One gray eye cut left to the paper barrier (which had to have been read three times over by now, really). His house guest folded the thin sheets and set them down neatly on the table.

"Apparently, Hatake-san, you left to go 'somewhere for big-kids only' last night, and didn't return until early this morning…dropped unceremoniously on the doorstep by a loud green monster of youth with shiny teeth."

Kakashi regarded the chūnin apathetically, unconcerned…though part of his mind sighed as the likelihood of having committed himself to spending time with Gai in the near future rose exponentially.

"Naruto-kun, answered the door and dragged you inside, but was a bit worried when all you would talk about was how 'its ok, you can win this time, I'll catch the broad with the bigger tits on the next go-round' and then you promptly threw up in the bathtub before passing out in the bathroom doorway."

Well, Kakashi thought, that both explained and made more confusing some blurry memories of the previous night.

"Anyway," and with this, the man began to punctuate his irritation by stiffly grabbing Kakashi's empty dishes, stacking them, and moving to the sink, "after removing you from sleeping in the pool of your own vomit, the six-year old ran _by himself_ across the village _at two am_ in the morning _in the dark_ on a night _with no moon_ to my place, banging on my door—loudly hollering and requesting advice on what to do with inebriated morons." The last bit was accompanied by the bitter clanking of roughly scrubbed dishes.

"Now," began Kakashi weakly, "That's not true, I'm confident inebriated isn't in his vocabu—"

Kakashi was cut off as the chūnin whirled swiftly toward him, waving the dish sponge under his nose. "You were so dead to the world that you didn't even recognize my chakra when I invaded your home, dragged you to the couch, and put Naruto to bed last night. And don't give me the 'I would've detected malicious intent' speech because _I promise you _I wanted to rattle your head to make sure you still had a brain in there last night just as much as I do this morning."

The chūnin stood, posture locked with aggression, and Kakashi absently noted that the improvised dish-sponge weapon was dripping dirty soap suds on the floor. Suddenly, the chūnin threw the sponge into the sink and called for Naruto. He grabbed his paper and headed for the door.

"I'm taking Naruto with me for the day. Come and find us when you've sobered up enough to realize that you are the adult in this household, not the impulsive teenager."

Naruto dropped his crayons and scrambled into the kitchen, giving Kakashi a hug around one knee and sharing a sentiment along the lines of "glad you aren't dead yet" before rushing out the door.

The door slammed shut behind the two, then opened again as the chūnin's head popped into view. "By the way, Naruto wants to know what tits are…I convinced him you meant ticks. I'm trusting you to use this time of reflection to come up with a reasonable explanation as to why you were chasing after tick infested women." The door slammed shut for a second time.

Though it perhaps wasn't the ideal reaction, Kakashi decided a nap was in order before giving serious thought to the morning's events. Most likely, the moral of the story was that Kakashi was socially retarded, which was as common a headline to life's events as the daimyo's affairs.

Turning off the kitchen light and the television playing children's cartoons, he slipped behind the screen partitioning the living room and dropped gratefully into the small, single bed…where he had trouble falling asleep when he realized that his bed no longer smelled like dogs, but had a wilder, untamed scent that his brain wanted to associate with foxes…and was even more disturbed that his brain was registering that as strangely comforting and normal, not odd.

Much later, in the evening, Kakashi spotted a familiar pair of heads enjoying dinner at the local ramen bar, and quietly slipped into the neighboring empty stool.

Murmuring an acknowledgment to the gleeful greeting of an excited child, he nodded along, half-listening to a tale about kunai and "duck-butt haired bastards" and something to do with neon paint as he ordered his own meal. Surprisingly, the chūnin from this morning seemed subdued and a bit embarrassed.

As Naruto was distracted by the proprietor, Kakashi took a deep breath "Ah, I wanted—"

"Hatake-san—" The brunette ninja started speaking at the same moment and caught himself.

"—I wanted to—"

"—I should tell you—"

The chūnin threw his head back with a laugh, "You first, Hatake-san."

Kakashi felt a bit awkward, "Ah, well, er, chūnin-san—"

"Iruka."

Kakashi blinked. Apparently he was going to have to get used to being interrupted.

"Its Iruka Umino…but you can call me Iruka. I have a key to your house, you can call me Iruka."

"Right. Iruka-san." Kakashi nodded firmly and gazed at his mostly uneaten noodles.

"I should tell you I'm sorry, Hatake-san."

This interrupting thing was really getting old—wait, what? Kakashi's head shot up and he looked at the chu—Iruka, in confusion.

"It really wasn't my place to judge you this morning." The man tapped his chopsticks on the rim of his bowl. "I don't approve of your evening activities, but I also understand you have a very high-stress career, and I'm sure I don't have any comparable experiences to understand what drove you to your actions last night."

Kakashi's mind momentarily short circuited—filling with visions of a laughing girl with marks on her cheeks and a boy with flimsy goggles, a man with silver hair bleeding on a hardwood floor looking just as a peaceful as a blonde man resting next to his too-still wife and squalling child as a black stone rose somberly, encompassing them all—stop.

Kakashi swirled his noodles restlessly. "…No, really. It wasn't…I shouldn't have done that. You were right, at the very least, my behavior put Naruto and myself in danger."

The chu-Iruka, turned quickly toward him, pushed back his own bowl, "No, you were, really—You were in the village, you shouldn't have to worry about danger here—"

"No, you were right, I do. I have too much of a history in ANBU and the brat has his own enemies. I shouldn't have left us that vulnerable. It was irresponsible."

The pair sat quietly for a few moments as Naruto's continuous chatter washed over them and the ramen stand owner's doe-eyed daughter refilled their beverages and gave the youngest of the trio another bowl on the house.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Kakashi blinked away darker thoughts. "What?"

"About whatever drove you to drinking last night?"

Kakashi started when he realized his companion was giving an earnest invitation to have an unpleasant conversation, and then relaxed his shoulders and gave a smile that didn't reach his eyes and, as such, probably went unnoticed. "No, not really. But thank you for the offer. Maybe later."

Kakashi caught the eye of the waitress and motioned for a doggie-bag, Naruto could have the rest of the meal for lunch tomorrow. "I do promise to find a better way to deal with my ghosts next time Iruka-san. Thank you—for your assistance."

"Its really no problem, Hatake-san—"

"Kakashi." It was much more enjoyable to be the one interrupting, for a change. "You spent the night cleaning up my vomit on the bathroom floor. You can call me Kakashi."

Iruka flushed and scratched at the back of his head in a nervous gesture. "Ah, well, er no trouble—well, it was only a little trouble."

Kakashi laughed, "I'd say I'd repay the favor one day, but I can't say I really want to." And with that he tucked the paper doggie bag into his vest, swept a squealing midget onto his shoulders, and headed home…turning left to take the shortcut through the alley and wondering how long it would take Iruka to realize that he'd been left with the bill.


	5. Frail

The Importance of Being Family

PG (occasional language)

So, Konoha doesn't have child protective services. They _do _have a chronically tardy jounin whose aggravating pug-dog conscience bullies him into tolerating a new room-mate. Or two.

Beta: Thank you very much, Random Flyer!

Chapter 5: Frail—In which Kakashi dislikes being vulnerable and Iruka once again tries to earn Konoha's good Samaritan award.

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><p>When Kakashi came to, his mind latched onto the company of a dull, distant, steady beep. He tried to recall his last conscious thoughts…and failed. He also failed to feel as alarmed as he knew that he should be feeling at his failed thought processes. He was even having trouble running through his mental checklists…something about flexing fingers and toes and using chakra to sense others. Only one, well, a couple of problems with that—he couldn't seem to gather the wherewithal to move said fingers and toes and if he couldn't do that then chakra was probably, almost completely, entirely, out of the question. No chakra at all…no, no, no.<p>

He was happy to continue floating calmly wherever it was that he was. Because wherever it was that he was, it was warm, and quiet, and it smelled rather clean, and he was just so sleepy…did he mention it was quiet? It was mostly quiet…just the gentle beeping of the whatever it was wherever it was that he was…and a soft scratching noise. His nose twitched— ink—writing then, implying that a person was present to perform the action. No killer intent, chakra reserves _very_ low, but not sealed and easily accessible. Kakashi flexed his wrists subtly, no physical restraints. Conclusion: regaining consciousness in a non-hostile environment.

Kakashi would have opened his eye, but it was a bit too heavy to bother with at the moment. He was really quite comfortable…except that the fuzzy slowness of his thoughts and the degree of detachment he was feeling from most of his limbs indicated that he was probably on some high quality pain medication. What _had_ he done to get the _good_ stuff?

…That and the firm pressure on his chest was interfering with his breathing and he'd feel a lot better if whatever it was went away...Vaguely, Kakashi realized he was trying to raise a hand to bat the new whatever it was off of his chest. It took a few minutes for all the synapses in his body to properly react, but when they did Kakashi could tell that his hand was colliding with a much larger object than originally anticipated.

Kakashi pondered the oddity, feeling like he was slowly turning over a puzzle-cube in his brain, and, with some disorientation, pushed weakly at the subject of his irritation. His fingers weren't quite cooperating and he couldn't get a solid grip. The weight was too great to be a blanket…and the weight was breathing.

Kakashi reluctantly summoned enough energy to crack open his right eye and raise his head an inch or so to get a visual on the breathing chest weight. His left eye began to tear up as the right was accosted by sudden brightness. He paused a minute to adjust to the light and let the object come into focus. Conclusion: the whatever it was, was small, blond and fuzzy. Kakashi let his head drop back to the pillow, satisfied. Even though he couldn't put an immediate name to the breathing chest weight, at least his subconscious registered it as a non-threat. He let his hand rest wearily on the fuzzy blond whatever it was, too tired to move it elsewhere.

"Good afternoon."

Kakashi thought about ignoring the soft greeting, but ultimately decided to acknowledge the voice, tilting his head toward the sound to the right.

"They said you'd wake up today."

If Kakashi were on less pain medication, he'd probably care about that statement. As it was, another ten minutes passed before he pulled himself together enough to open his eye again and examine his informant.

Iruka was leaning back in a well-worn and unfortunately familiar (to Kakashi, at least) hospital chair, pushed away from the bed and against the wall. Iruka had pulled two other chairs into the room, one on either side of the chūnin. Each was filled with deliberately stacked piles of paper. Iruka himself held a handful of papers he was apparently (judging from the color of the ink) in the middle of grading.

Kakashi gave a low grunt to let the chūnin know that he was paying attention. His mouth felt like cotton and he found himself working his jaw awkwardly.

"The med nin say you're going to be fine, but you shattered your lower right leg and it's going to take a while to heal properly, add that to the chakra exhaustion, and well…" Iruka shrugged and gave the copy ninja a weak smile, gesturing toward the hospital bed. Then he rose, setting the papers he held onto one of the commandeered chairs and mumbling something about getting a nurse before leaving the room.

Kakashi dozed on the edge of consciousness, and started when he realized that Iruka was back in the room and holding out a glass of water.

"The nurse will be here in a minute, but I thought you might want a drink."

Kakashi sluggishly raised an arm out to Iruka, who took it firmly, pulling Kakashi up into more of a sitting position. Kakashi used his other arm to keep Naruto from sliding away—the kid was still fast asleep. He was probably drooling…Kakashi didn't want to look too closely.

Iruka adjusted the bed to support Kakashi at a raised angle as Kakashi sipped absently at the water. Inwardly, Kakashi was wincing that he was in such poor shape as to require this much assistance, but he was also relieved that the chūnin was acting without asking, not forcing the older ninja to verbally acknowledge his current limitations. Kakashi hadn't returned from a mission in such bad shape since those early months after Sensei's death. The resulting long recuperation periods alone in his apartment had motivated him not to go through the experience again.

Iruka settled back to his papers as Kakashi hazily considered the far wall; Naruto's weight a comforting anchor tying his drugged mind to reality. When he felt capable of stringing words together in a coherent sentence, he turned his attention to the preoccupied teacher.

"How long have I been out?"

"Your team brought you in three days ago." Iruka answered distractedly, rubbing the bridge of his nose and smudging ink across his face.

Right. His team. Kakashi vainly tried to remember who was accompanying him on his most recent mission, but his mind only came up with flashes of memories that he couldn't quite bring together successfully. Wherever he'd been, it was cold, snowy…and he had a sense that the mission had gone as off-kilter as some of his more memorable genin team missions. Frustrated with his failing memory, he turned his attention to the only available distraction.

"Why are you here?"

Iruka made a long mark on the paper he was considering and scribbled some commentary before responding to Kakashi's sulky inquiry. "Naruto-kun wouldn't leave."

Kakashi's eyes slid to the child resting against his chest, cradled by Kakashi's left arm and looking unusually peaceful in sleep. And innocent. Strange to think that such a young child was already being trained to be a killer…stranger still to think that Kakashi had already made his own first kill by this age.

"He's been here the whole time you know. He still won't stay with me overnight at my apartment, but we were having dinner at your place when Hokage-sama sent a messenger to notify us you were here, and when we arrived you'd just come out of surgery and Naruto-kun was just so upset when he saw—"

"Stop."

The voice felt alien to Kakashi, and it took him a moment to realize that the surprise etched on the chūnin's face was due to the fact that the words had come from Kakashi himself and not because a third party had interrupted the conversation. Kakashi blinked and focused dimly at his own hand resting on top of a head of yellow hair—such a specific, familiar, painful shade—currently buried in Kakashi's chest. Kakashi was gaining some motor movement (as well as an unpleasant bone-deep ache from his leg) and he clutched tightly at the coarse strands between his fingers.

"Just stop talking."

Iruka, just blinked and nodded once, slowly, before returning his attention to his papers.

Kakashi concentrated on matching the rhythmic beeping of his own unnecessary heart monitor to the rise and fall of his charge's chest, trying desperately to ground himself to the _now_ and not to lose himself in the memories that he fought so hard to keep locked down…when he too had been that terribly small and young and well, not so trusting, but, _invested_, repeatedly sneaking into hospital rooms he wasn't supposed to be in until another with that same painful shade of yellow hair awoke.

Kakashi blamed the pain medication for his current distress, but he was terrified by the logical part of his brain which told him that the pain medication had nothing to do with the ache in his chest that tightened with each breath taken by the child in his arms.


	6. Frail Part 2

The Importance of Being Family

PG (occasional language)

So, Konoha doesn't have child protective services. They _do _have a chronically tardy jounin whose aggravating pug-dog conscience bullies him into tolerating a new room-mate. Or two.

Beta: Random Flyer did a wonderful job editing this chapter, thank you very much!

Chapter 6: Frail, pt. 2—Iruka's still vying for Konoha's good Samaritan award.

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><p>"I have been here over a week. I'm fine. I'm not going to keel over and pass out the moment I leave the hospital." Kakashi tried very hard to sound even tempered and reasonable as he didn't argue with the matronly medic-nin fussing with his charts at the foot of the bed.<p>

He was rewarded for his efforts by impatient "tskk-ing" noises. They seemed quite out of place when accompanied by the background sound of Naruto animatedly supplying sound effects as he re-enacted a key battle of the Second Shinobi War that he'd learned about at the academy recently.

"I don't think so, Hatake-san." The homely woman said with false cheer as she patted the leg which currently lacked a cast.

Kakashi tried again, appealing to logic, "All that's left is for the bone to heal, that's just a waiting game—"

"Exactly, it's a waiting game. I know ninja, you'll 'wait' much better right here."

The peppy tone cut through Kakashi's words and Kakashi could feel a nervous twitch beginning to develop in his good eye as the soundtrack of his life was punctuated by a particularly loud "And they were like BLAM! SURPRISED!" and a "SHH! Not so loud Naruto-kun…"

Kakashi sighed, much more of this and he'd be reduced to begging. He caught the woman's wrist as she moved to check his IV. He'd have to use _that _look. Women loved _that _look. He carefully arranged his face and made sure to meet the woman's eyes. " Please—"

"Oh no, Hatake-san, I'm much too old for those puppy dog-eyes to work on me."

The copy ninja felt slightly miffed as the woman patted his hair indulgently before continuing her lecture.

"Now, I'm sorry, I'm well aware of how you feel about hospitals, but it's my job to look out for your best interests. Can you honestly tell me that you aren't going to sneak off and try your own rehabilitation methods once you step outside these doors? I'd give it one day before you decide you know what's best for your leg and then on your next mission you'll break it again and be right back here for an even longer term."

She hmm-d slightly as she moved back to the end of the bed and made some notes to the charts before continuing with the rehearsed speech that Kakashi had been treated to every time he'd asked to leave for the past week and a half. "Trust me, what's best for everyone is that you have supervision to hold you accountable to the therapy regimen—"

"Excuse me…"

The medic blinked in surprise and stopped mid speech. "Yes…ummm," she hesitated slightly, as if uncertain how to proceed now that she'd been thrown off rote.

"Iruka Umino, ma'm." Iruka's polite introduction didn't prompt the medical authority to continue, so he boldly inserted himself into the conversation. "I just—if he had someone to watch him at his apartment and keep him from training, would you let him go home?"

She eyed him dubiously. "Don't you teach at the academy during the day?"

"Well, yes," Iruka responded, "But it won't be any problem for Kakashi-san to join me during the day when I teach. I have one of the youngest classes and we're only doing basic conditioning right now, really the most stressful thing he could encounter is the kids hitting him with dull practice weapons."

The woman didn't look convinced. "Are you teaching them jutsu at all yet?"

"No!" Interrupted Naruto with a pout and a scowl.

Iruka shook his head, "We're working on basic chakra control exercises, they haven't even moved past meditation yet."

Pursed lips parted with a reluctant response, "Well, I suppose…if you promised to monitor him…"

Kakashi felt his spirits lift in faint, tentative hope.

"But you'd have to watch him like a hawk, the nurses have already caught him trying to sneak out several times this week." The woman emphatically gestured toward Kakashi with her clipboard. "No matter how much he whines, I don't want him doing anything other than mild exercises until he's been cleared for moderate duty."

Kakashi tried to appear slightly sheepish regarding the mentioned escape attempts, but really, he was more embarrassed over the fact that he'd been caught rather than the attempts themselves. He blinked as the woman's finger suddenly appeared far too close to his face, wagging viciously.

"And that's _moderate_ duty Hatake-san, you won't be back to _regular _duty for at least another month—"

"Ah, I think I can handle it."

Kakashi had never been more grateful for one of Iruka's apologetic sounding interruptions. He leaned back against his pillows with relief as Iruka's calm demeanor soothed the threatening medic.

"After all, I have a lot of experience handling whiny ninja."

_Hey now!_ Kakashi blinked, recognizing that he should be offended by the statement just a tad too late.

"Hatake-san, would you agree to Umino-san's supervision and follow his orders as long as this allowed you to be home?"

Interrupted in the midst of his indignation, Kakashi let out a flustered mix of words along the lines of "I am an adult—don't talk…like I'm a child, right here!" which ended with a groan and a "yes, fine" as he flopped back on his pillows.

"I'll go get the paperwork then," said the woman in a huffy tone, flouncing from the room with her clipboard clenched tightly in hands.

An hour later found Kakashi creeping along the streets of Konoha at a snail's pace, headed toward the safety of his apartment with his strange yet familiar entourage.

"And then Sasuke said "you're a moron!" and I was all like "nuh-uh, you are, you stupid head!" and then Shikamaru-kun started moaning and I—"

"Naruto-kun, why don't you run ahead and open the door—make sure all your toys are off the floor too, so Kakashi-san doesn't trip on them ok?"

"Ok!"

And like a yellow flash, he's gone! Kakashi chuckled at his own joke, drawing an odd look from his chūnin companion as they enjoyed the now quieter stroll…er—hobble, really, even though Kakashi thought he was quite graceful for someone bound to crutches.

As they approached the building Kakashi had long called home, the jounin gave a half-hearted nod of acknowledgment to the other man. "I appreciate the gesture."

"What?" Iruka started, apparently lost in his own thoughts.

"Speaking up." Kakashi raised one eyebrow when he was still met with a blank gaze. "To get me home, back there at the hospital."

"Oh," Iruka cleared his voice as they headed toward the back of the building. "That…well, you were obviously uncomfortable there…"

"Ahh." Kakashi readjusted the crutches as he eyed the back porch speculatively.

A few moments of silence passed before Iruka hesitantly asked, "Can you handle the stairs?"

"Slowly." Kakashi moved to tackle the first step as Iruka followed behind.

Thirty minutes later, Kakashi settled gently onto his couch, ignoring Naruto's whines about how he'd been taking forever, could have cooked five bowls of ramen by now, and some other under the breath mutterings which Kakashi chose to ignore as he was fairly certain one of the phrases contained the words "old geezer."

"I'll be fine now." He ran a hand through his hair and stretched his long arms along the back of the couch. Naruto curled into a ball against his ribs, blinking up at him with large blue eyes.

Kakashi blinked back. "You have dirt on your nose," he observed.

Trying to get the kid to hold still while he wiped the brat's face, he only half-heard Iruka saying something about making lunch. Naruto escaped with a howl, before having a mid-flee epiphany and running back into the living room. Grabbing a stack of papers from under the table, he clambered back onto the couch, preventing Kakashi from preventing Iruka from taking over his kitchen.

"You really don't have to make lunch—"

"It's not a problem!"

"Look," Kakashi grunted and bit back a hiss of pain as Naruto decided that Kakashi's lap made a better seat than the couch.

"Iruka only let me bring ten of my pictures to the hospital, but here are all the other ones I made for you, see, this is Chougi and he's eating chips, and this Sakura—her hair is pink!—and that is Chougi eating Kiba's lunch, and that is Kiba giving Akamaru Chougi's chips, and that is Shikarmaru but I only have one picture of him because he never does anything else and…"

Overwhelmed, Kakashi could just nod until Naruto ran out of air and had to stop and inhale. Then, with a high-pitched cry of "Food, _finally_!" Kakashi was abandoned for more rewarding endeavors.

When Iruka came to retrieve the dishes Kakashi used for lunch, Kakashi woke from his light doze and rose awkwardly to his feet, intending to see the younger man to the door. "Ah, thank you, Iruka-san. I really will be fine, you can leave now." Kakashi strove to look confident and stern, and was slightly puzzled when the chūnin's response was a roll of the eyes.

"I'm not stupid Hatake-san. And you can't bully me away."

Kakashi opened his mouth to protest, but was cut short.

"However, I do have some errands to run. Naruto-kun, come here, I want you to take this."

The academy teacher knelt to the floor and tied a simple, dull braided bracelet around the child's wrist.

"What is it?"

Kakashi scowled at the scene. Seriously, he was old enough not to be babysat in such a manner. It wasn't like he planned on running laps round Konoha the moment that Iruka left the house.

Iruka ignored the sulking jounin and continued his conversation with his student. "It's a summoning bracelet."

"A what?"

"Well, it's a very weak version of one, but if you cut it with your kunai, I'll feel mine warm up. So, if Kakashi-san needs something, I want you to cut it and I'll come over right away, ok?"

Naruto nodded to his teacher's smile.

"This really isn't necessary," Kakashi mumbled. At the most, he was planning on some push-ups and some upper body therapy.

Iruka shot him a suspicious gaze and Kakashi was grateful for the mask which hopefully dampened the undignified glower that he was leveling at his house guest.

"Naruto…I need you to trust your own judgment on that ok? Do you know what that means?"

Naruto shook his head in the negative and Iruka tapped him gently.

"It means that even if Kakashi-san tells you he doesn't need me, but you think he does, you break that bracelet. Especially if Kakashi-san tries to leave here."

"Look, this is really thoughtful, but I'm not on house-arrest—"

"But why?" Naruto's curious voice was almost smothered as Kakashi tried to push Iruka toward the door and Naruto further into the apartment at the same time.

"Iruka-san's just being a little over-protective, he really doesn't need to be bothered with little things…"

Iruka dodged Kakashi's hand and knelt down, tilting Naruto's head so that he focused on meeting Iruka's eyes.

"I won't be bothered," assured the child's teacher. "But I will be…" Iruka stopped, struggling for the right word, "I'll be disappointed if you don't notify me."

Well, _shit. _Kakashi had to hand it to the chūnin, the man knew how to throw a verbal punch. Naruto's eyes went impossibly wide at the mention of disappointing Iruka.

Now that the teacher had the child's undivided attention, he reinforced his orders with sound reasoning. "As to why, well, you see, he's a bit sick right now..."

Kakashi stuttered a protest of being fine, but Naruto didn't look like he was buying it. Traitor.

"… and when you're sick, you don't always think as well or make as good decisions as you do when you are healthy. But you are healthy, so I need you to look out for him, and even if he tells you someone told him he could leave, or someone told him he could do the big-Ninja stuff he normally does, I want you to know that you should get me anyway, ok?"

"I'm right here." Kakashi started to wave his arms, realized how juvenile his behavior was becoming, and instead retreated to the couch with a resigned huff.

"After all, we all want Hatake-san to get better as fast as possible right?"

"Right!" Naruto crowed his agreement and cheerfully yelled farewell to the chūnin.

The door closed and Kakashi sank further into the couch cushions. The blond brat turned to face him, and they each regarded their opponent wearily.

Suddenly, Naruto's face split into a rather feral grin.

"It's just you an' me now Kashi-ni-san, what should we do?"

"Well," Kakashi said, mentally weighing his options and deciding to test the waters, "I could always show you a new chakra exercise…" A few hours of trying to slice a leaf and the kid would be out like a light.

Naruto frowned, "I don't think you're supposed 'ter be doing that…" He put a hand to his chin thoughtfully. "I know, let's play doctor!" Naruto jumped up and ran toward the bathroom.

"We just left the doctor, I don't need a doctor, Naruto." Kakashi sighed and propped his foot up on the couch.

"Its _pretend_ Ni-san, it's a good game, trust me."

Kakashi lay down fully on the couch, fluffing a pillow behind his head. "What if I don't like that game?"

"Well…sucks to be you, you're kind of stuck aren't you?"

Huh, Kakashi thought, that was unusually bold of the brat. He opened his good eye and narrowed it in a warning. "Naruto…"

"You could always get me a puppy."

The boy's cheeky suggestion almost made Kakashi laugh, until he tried to envision life in a one-room apartment with both Naruto and an untrained nin-puppy.

"…no."

Kakashi resigned himself to the brat's torturous plans as he felt small hands tugging at his arm.

"Oh no, Ninja-san, you were ambushed by Iwa-nin and broke your arm? That's ok, I can fix it!"

Kakashi made a mental note to guilt Iruka into buying more toilet paper. Kakashi wasn't sure there was going to be much left after Naruto finished the "cast" on his arm.


	7. Figments

The Importance of Being Family

PG (occasional language)

So, Konoha doesn't have child protective services. They _do _have a chronically tardy jounin whose aggravating pug-dog conscience bullies him into tolerating a new room-mate. Or two.

Chapter 7: Figments—Kakashi wrestles with pieces of the past.

Beta: Thank you to Random Flyer for checking this chapter over and giving me some ideas on how to polish this thing.

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><p>"Watcha reading?"<p>

Kakashi glanced down from his book, eyeing Naruto who was resting his chin on the tabletop. They were in the kitchen, or at least, Kakashi had retreated to the kitchen roughly thirty minutes ago, abandoning his sofa for a lost cause once Naruto determined it would make a good pillow fort.

It was a miserable day…the rain had been relentless and a cold front had come through the night before, chilling the air and causing most sensible souls to remain restlessly inside their homes. Iruka had been over the previous night helping Naruto complete his homework. It was kind of him, except now Kakashi had nothing left to occupy the person who, after sharing Kakashi's quarters for over year, was reluctantly acknowledged as a permanent house-guest. Iruka had some type of teacher's meeting today and Kakashi was still on Iruka-imposed house arrest, not that Kakashi would want to go out in this kind of weather. However, it meant that Kakashi couldn't go retrieve anything to alleviate his boredom. He was reduced to re-reading the Icha-Icha series (which Iruka had kindly requested Kakashi not do around Naruto but Iruka was not his mother, damn it).

Another unfortunate consequence of the weather was that Kakashi's babysitter of choice, the television, wasn't functioning properly. Kakashi had already run Naruto through the kata routines that could be performed inside a small apartment. Those didn't so much as dent the kid's energy. Kakashi tied the boy in a knot with the bed sheets and hung him from the ceiling, which had kept the blond occupied for a good 45 minutes. Kakashi put the kid through hand sign drills, set him to a math problem he knew the kid couldn't solve, called out Pakkun to recount old war stories (which inspired the couch fort), and had ultimately thrown in the towel and retreated for personal time in the kitchen.

Kakashi was unafraid to admit he was an introvert by nature and he'd put in his pseudo-parenting time for the day, thank you very much. Now the kid needed to entertain himself. He paused to take a sip of tea before returning his attention back to more adult matters.

"Ni-san, watcha reading?" Naruto repeated with a whine.

"The same thing I've been reading for the past thirty minutes."

"Why?"

Kakashi ignored the child, who promptly began to twist, fidget, and increase the volume of his pleas.

"Ni-san, why?"

The questions were met with continued silence and Naruto let out a rude-sounding noise, climbing awkwardly into the remaining chair and reaching forward to play with some abandoned newspaper.

"Look, Kashi-san, I made a hat!"

"That's nice," Kakashi said absently, turning a page.

"You didn't even look!"

The accusation was met with a soft hum and another turned page.

"Ni-san, you're boring today."

Kakashi made a sound of agreement.

"Why are you so boring?"

Another sip of tea.

"Boring…"

Silence.

"Arggh!" Naruto wailed and ruffled his hair before despondently throwing himself across the table, rattling the tea set.

If Kakashi hadn't been used to Naruto's temperament, the aggrieved cry would have put him on edge. However, Kakashi was an old hand to Naruto's tantrums by now and didn't even bat his single uncovered eye.

Naruto jumped off his chair and ran to the window, jumping up and down on the dissembled sofa.

"Can we go get ramen?"

"Can we go to the park?"

"Can we go see Iruka?"

Kakashi gave a slight sigh, "It's raining Naruto. I've been told by interested parties that it is not appropriate to let you, at this stage in your development, play outside in such questionable conditions."

Kakashi's deadpanned explanation was met by an incredulous audience and his lips twitched as he continued with a drawled, "Besides, Iruka promised to bring you Ichiraku for dinner tonight…you'll just have to wait 'till then."

The child slid noisily to the floor with a despairing wail, "I'm so bored I'm gonna die…"

Kakashi briefly glanced at the spectacle, then dismissed the boy from his attention and immersed himself in the love triangle of Ichigo, Ayaka, and Saki. Dimly, he noticed some clicks and thuds from the back of the room…Naruto was probably getting into his kunai, but he didn't really have the heart to stop him today and it was just getting to the good part where Ichigo realized that his female companions might be more into each other than into competing for his own affections. Not even the pitter patter of feet could distract him…

"Look what I found Ni-san!"

Kakashi flicked his eyes up, then back to the book, then up again in shock.

Naruto stood proudly before him, wearing one of his ear-to-ear grins and adjusting a painfully familiar pair of orange goggles atop his head.

Mouth dry, Kakashi was fairly certain he managed to ask where Naruto found those, but was promptly ignored as Naruto pranced to the bathroom to admire himself in the mirror.

"These are awesome, can I have them?"

Kakashi stood and went to investigate the bedroom area. Sure enough, a large trunk had been drug from under the bed, the seals securing it torn and useless on the floor. Kakashi pursed his lips as he examined the broken seals. These were blood seals he'd been taught from Sensei…supposed to keep things locked up until someone from his team came to open them. His team had used them frequently on missions to pass scrolls and supplies along…they were a basic design from what he understood, not intended to be top notch defenses, after all, the blood of a dead soldier could open the contents just as well as that of the living as long as it was considered a match.

Kakashi had to admit that sealing had never been an academic interest of his…as these were very basic designs it was possible that genetically Naruto was considered a match to his certain team members of Kakashi's. He'd never learned enough about sealing to alter the design from accepting the blood of his teammates to just his own. He hadn't thought he'd needed to since they'd all been, well, killed. Apparently, he was going to need to make a few trips to the library if he was going to keep secrets from his house-guest. What a bother, but then again, he didn't want to think about the rant he'd be forced to endure if Naruto figured out he could apply his new trick to the storage scroll holding his Icha-Icha books.

Kakashi supposed he should be grateful that Naruto had grabbed the goggles from the top of the trunk and hadn't dug deeper into its contents. He picked up his old team picture which now rested at the top of the pile of letters and trinkets and, deeply buried, other items of mostly sentimental value that Kakashi would rather remain hidden. For the first time in quite a while, he wasn't immediately overwhelmed with a deep sense of grief as he studied the well-known visages. Once again, he was struck by Naruto's strong resemblance to his father. However, Kakashi, and everyone else who knew of Naruto's origins, had been expressly forbidden from commenting on the relationship. The Hokage felt that Naruto faced enough threats due to his…condition…without adding the assassination attempts that would come from being openly hailed as the Fourth's only living legacy. If the physical resemblance continued, it was going to be harder to keep the secret as Naruto got older. He set the picture down and closed the trunk, letting out an exasperated sigh and addressing the offender.

"Ahh, Naruto-kun, you really shouldn't mess with someone else's belongings like this."

A sheepish expression accompanied Naruto's apologies and a mumbled explanation about wanting to try out something he'd learned in school…and then another plea to keep his new found treasure.

"Please, you never wear them, please!"

Kakashi couldn't help but smile at Naruto's pleas, despite the part of him that was slightly resentful at another treating Obito's favorite possession so lightly. His thoughts clouded with visions of an adult Obito ruffling the child's unkempt mop and joyfully handing over his goggles as Rin rolled her eyes and tossed her hair and an older man in robes snorted absently at all their antics as he tried to sort through paperwork. Kakashi passed a hand over his face and rubbed at his covered eye fiercely, telling Naruto that he supposed the boy could keep them as long as he treated them well. He wrestled with ghosts and should-have-beens as Naruto cheered and spun around the apartment, trying to decide if it was better to let the past stay buried or to dig it up and set the stage for it to potentially repeat.


End file.
